October 24, 2007

Oink, Oink - Fly Little Piggie, FLY!

That's it damnit, I'm tired of feeling like a pig and it's time to do something about it once and for all.

Now please don't leave me any comments telling me that I'm "just perfect the way I am" or that I'm "not fat". I know I'm perfect and I know I'm not fat. Feeling like a pig does not mean that I think I look like a pig and just to set the record straight: looking relatively thin does not mean that one is healthy. There are lots of unhealthy thin people and lots of healthy thick people. I'm not going to ramble on much more about this but it's one of those things that drives me crazy, "Oh you're fine, look how skinny you are."

I want to make it very clear that my use of the word PIG has nothing to do with size. Just because someone is obese does not mean that they are a pig. I chose pig for me because I feel like one: lazy, unhealthy (come on, they'll eat ANYTHING including a human being if you fed one to them - ew) and awkward.

The other reason I'm going with the pig theme is because "exercise and Jaime" go together about as often as "pigs and flying." Not impossible but it takes a whole lotta effort and happens rarely.

Now before you ask I'll answer the question that is on your mind: when do pigs ever fly?
My reply: I have very little doubt that some kid has flung a pig (a small one) across a barn yard somewhere in the world recently. I'm not saying I agree with it but really... if you lived on a farm and your mother told you that you would be allowed to... let's see, "stop going to school forever to become a pro wrestler 'when pigs fly'" wouldn't you head on out to the pig pen and see what you could do to help make that dream a reality?

Point being, it's time to make those damn pigs fly. I'm declaring publicly (to the 4 people that might read this anyways) that I am going to start exercising. For real this time. I figure seeing it on my blog is the motivator I need. I'll post when I actually do something physical and then I can weep in shame if I look back over a week and have no posts stating that pigs have flown. Hold me to it dammit. If I don't make pigs fly at least twice a week then please consider poking me with a stick or at the very least say no to chocolate when I ask for some.

Just for the record: I went to aqua aerobics last night - 15 minute ab class followed by 45 minutes RunFit (deep end). I pulled my toe while doing the rapid flutter (don't ask) and it was totally worth it. That's right ladies and gentlemen, you read it here: PIGS HAVE FLOWN.


The Mommi said...

Hail To The Baby Girlz-
Queen of the flying pigs!
I am proud of you my little one.
I will eagerly (sp?) look foward
to wings of pork passing my way
at least 2 times a week.
Go Queenie Go!!!
The Mommi

tanzi said...

Wow! I haven't visited your post in awhile and I'm so glad I did. I'm continually impressed by your witty writing!!!
I love the "flinging of the pig" image.
You go girl!!!!! I would love to be your accomplice in this cardio-porkfest! With you as my inspiration I know I will succeed!
Oh, and your mom's awesome poem made me weepy. I know, I know.
How do you pull a toe??? Hey--pulled pork!
love you...

Jaime said...

Well thank you for your comments ladies! Your support is appreciated.
Tanya let's pick some cardio to do together, aqua-aerobics maybe?

Looks like you two are my sidekicks for getting into shape. Let's do it ladies!